Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love
truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you
Life may not be the
party we hoped for, but while we are here we should dance....
Jake, the rancher, went one day to fix a distant fence. The wind was
cold and gusty and the clouds rolled gray and dense.
As he pounded the last staples in and gathered tools to go, The
temperature had fallen, the wind and snow began to blow.
When he finally reached his pickup, he felt a heavy heart. From the
sound of that ignition, he knew it wouldn't start.
So Jake did what most of us would do if we had been there. He humbly
bowed his balding head and sent aloft a prayer.
As he turned the key for the last time, he softly cursed his luck.
found him three days later, frozen stiff in that old truck.
Now Jake had been around in life and done his share of roaming. But
he saw Heaven, he was shocked -- It looked just like Wyoming!
Of all the saints in Heaven, his favorite was St. Peter. (Now, this
ain't needed but it helps with rhyme and meter)
So they set and talked a minute or two, or maybe it was three.
was keeping' score -- in Heaven time is free.
"I've always heard," Jake said to Pete, "that God will answer
But one time I asked for help, Well, he just plain wasn't there."
"Does God answer prayers of some, and ignore the prayers of others?
don't seem exactly square -- I know all men are brothers."
"Or does he randomly reply, without good rhyme or reason? Maybe,
the time of day, the weather or the season."
"Now I ain't trying to act smart, it's just the way I feel. And I
wondering', could you tell me -- what the heck's the deal?!"
Peter listened very patiently, and when Jake was done, There were
of recognition, and he said, "So, you're the one!!"
"That day your truck wouldn't start, and you sent your prayer a
You gave us all a real bad time, with hundreds of us trying."
"A thousand angels rushed, to check the status of your file, But you
know, Jake, we hadn't heard from you in quite a long while."
"And though all prayers are answered, and God ain't got no quota, He
didn't recognize your voice, and started a truck in Minnesota."
YOU BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH!
By Brad Curtis
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping
One of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?
He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still
Didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on,
She had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher,
They're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough,
They were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than
It was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as
Together they worked to get the boots back on, this time
On the right feet.
He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and
"Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to. Once again, she
Struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his
Feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said,
"They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she
Mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle
The boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your
He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
is when what you think, what you
say, and what you do are in
harmony. — Mahatma Gandhi
perhaps owe having become a
painter to flowers. — Claude
You know you’re in
Arizona in the summer when….
…the best parking place is under shade, even if
it is a ¼ mile away.
…the cold tap is as hot as the hot tap.
…sun tea is instant brew.
…your seat belt buckle and the steering wheel
brand you simultaneously as you start the car.
…an SUV can be steered by two fingers.
…you get sunburned through the car window, left
…the temperature falls below 95 at 6:00 AM; is
this jacket weather?
…you use the same potholder to open the car door
handle and pull the cake from the oven.
…you learn that asphalt is a liquid at normal
…you go to the sauna to cool off.